VOLUNTEER VALENTINES
“There’s (NOT) an app for that. . .”
Before there was “Take Back Valentines”, there was “Volunteer Valentines”.
At least in my mind. Oh that’s right, it was just in my mind.
Remember when it seemed you couldn’t go through a day without hearing some goofball announce, “Hey, there’s an app for that!”
Well, there’s not really “an app for this”, as far as my research tells me.
There is no dating or friendship app out there to connect people through their charitable and volunteering interests. Don’t get me wrong; there are plenty of apps that tell you about volunteering opportunities and who all needs your donation and such. But there needs to be an app that helps these noble volunteers meet each other. Heck, I’ve been so lonely in my life sometimes that just a nice friend would do, maybe another girl who champions the same causes I do, no romance required. Just the comforting understanding that I am not the only one on the planet who thinks and feels like I do about what seems to me like an urgent cause.
As a person who has spent some time married and definitely spent some decades single, I can definitely say that getting drunk in a bar, (upscale or otherwise), is probably not the best place to meet prime husband material–AKA, “The Love of Your Life”. When I was not single anymore, I realized that I had never dated anybody that I had not first gotten to know through work or some other means–point being, I had to sort of know that person, and I had to be sure that said person had the following three qualities (non-negotiable): kindness, a great sense of humor, and a modicum of intelligence. (Looks, finances, career path, hobbies–these are all negotiable.)
Chemistry is fine, wonderful, fantastic, but you’d better have some reasonable standards set up for yourself before you waste time courting this person, or being courted by them, because if you don’t, your Significant Other will quickly become a Significant BOther, and it will probably be mutual. Let’s continue this line of logic: One way this search (the most important thing you will ever search for in your whole life) can become more efficient is to take a short cut. If you meet somebody while volunteering, you can already & instantly be assured that they have three qualities that are crucial to you--that is if you have any brain at all, and establish reasonable standards for yourself:
- They have a good heart–or else, why would they take all that time, effort, and maybe gas money volunteering?
- They are a self-starter. (After all, it’s easier and much more superficially pleasant to binge watch your favorite show all weekend with nachos and a six pack lined up on the table, than it is to show up crazy-early Saturday morning with coffee and donuts for the gang ). This person really wants to make a difference, however small. And if they are making only a tiny contribution in the great scheme of things, that’s a big plus too, because it means this person is capable of putting their Ego aside–an important quality in a relationship.
- You have common interests, as in, your shared volunteering experience means you have an interest in, oh, say, helping animals, helping the climate, helping veterans, helping the homeless, supporting libraries, artists, political causes, your city or town, international matters, micromatters, etc., etc., etc.
Let me put it this way: that guy you leave the bar with after Last Call, who looks so good because you’ve had a half a dozen shots in half as many hours. . . .maaaaaybe he’s not your best bet.
And uh, that guy at the party, who is being eyed by all the girls but for some reason he chooses you and in the moment you feel so very lucky–also, probably not your best bet.
But that guy who is there volunteering at the dog adoption every single damn weekend where you started volunteering too, because. . .those poor dogs. . .you know the guy I’m talking about. The guy who you saw quietly shedding a tear when he put that fifteen year old dog back in his cage because nobody wanted the poor dog (and he can't adopt the dog because he already has seven rescue animals at home)–that same guy who cried harder and quite openly tears of joy when the poor dog finally did get adopted–you know the guy I’m talking about–the guy with the slightly receding hairline and the beginnings of a gut but whose laugh is infectious and he can make other people laugh too and boy does he love it when one of those poor dogs gets adopted–that’s your man ladies. He’s your guy.
Now, the truth is, I am not young any more, I am a Luddite, and I am far from wealthy, so the fact of the matter is that I may never get my Dating App, Volunteer Valentines, off the ground. I’ve read about the process of developing an app, and it has given me a real respect for people who can do that. I snagged the domain name, though, because hope springs eternal. And because maybe some enterprising volunteer who does know about such things will help me build the app. Or maybe some incredibly hep college professor will actually give college credits to the student who does such an enterprising thing, instead of just turning in another AI generated term paper that the poor professor has to read along with 30 others. (Yes, I used to teach.)
It could happen.
POSTSCRIPT: I’m not sure if I can swing it this year, but I always thought it would be cool to create these epic gift baskets for couples who tied the knot after they met through volunteering. They are the ultimate. . ."Volunteer Valentines". Surely some nice hotel chain like Marriott or Hilton would offer a free romantic room; restaurants could kick in a nice meal, and then there would be wine and food treats and so forth and so on. In a world of bad news that is perpetually hungry for new content, this couple’s love story would be great on the morning news shows; so all those parties like Hilton and Morton’s Steak House would get all that free advertising. Everybody who is lonely and lovesick would see it, and get off their butts, and try volunteering, in hopes that they’d meet someone decent for a change, whose heart was as big as their–FILL IN BLANK: ego, car, delusions, etc.
Why haven’t we done this yet?
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